Black women dating outside their race

30-Jan-2018 08:19 by 3 Comments

Black women dating outside their race

The four young women I interviewed are all pastor’s kids who grew up in church and were indelibly impacted by the women around them—including older teens who navigated the same shoals.

In my region of upstate New York, for example, it’s a rare sight to see a black male under 40 with a black female.

In advising these mentors, Dace says “be honest about the mistakes you’ve made.

And don’t let [young women] think [their] value is tied up with who they are in a relationship with.” The church, of course, is the most powerful space for this kind of mentoring, modeling, and discipleship.

Now as a married, middle-aged woman, I try to be intentional about reaching out to younger Christians, especially women still finding their way in relationships with men.

Although Scripture exhorts older women like me to disciple the younger (Titus 2), black fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, boyfriends, and husbands are also called to play a pivotal role in encouraging and affirming single black women.

Upon hearing the news in front of a group, he promptly declared that he would “never” date her. “But part of me realized, that’s just the way it is.” She and her sister Destiny reported that they had never dated outside their race but did hang out with kids of different ethnicities.

Although their comments address larger interracial dynamics, they also gesture toward the problem at hand: Relationships for young black women are fraught with challenges.Naylah, 16, reported that if she is sandwiched between white friends, someone will inevitably comment on “the swirl.” She also reported that, because her skin was lighter, she was more accepted than classmates who were darker and more identifiably African American, as judged by their neighborhoods or accents.Deja, now 18, remembers a formative incident from middle school, in which she expressed interest in a white boy in her class.I like to think of myself as someone who’s adventurous when it comes to love and sex, someone who’d never rule out potential partners or new experiences.But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men.“The black church has a history of holistically discipling people,” says Natasha Sistrunk Robinson, and that discipleship is key to the future of black women.

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