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He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I’m really like. Sure, I get a lot of profile “views”, but no messages.
I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating.You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.RD: How long have you been using online dating websites? Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Maybe they don’t like my pictures, or maybe I’m not being as nice as I feel I am in my messages.Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests.
RD: From your experience, do you think dating sites can be at all useful for girls? I know people who have had great successes with online dating! I have a strong preference toward meeting people in person FIRST, instead of online first. RD: How did you eventually end up meeting the guy you ended up marrying?That’s one of the issues I see with online dating though.Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”.It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.