It might be better to break the news about herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you.Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe, so you don't have to tell before you do that.
They both say it can be nerve-racking, but a few things help: sitting the person down in a place that’s comfortable for them, trying not to be too emotional, starting off with something like, “Hey, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” and bringing a wealth of knowledge to the conversation.“I always try to be calm and not too clinical but explain that I have done the research,” Carlson says.“I’ve always waited a little while before telling people, basically until I thought it was going somewhere,” Davis says.“This isn’t everyone’s experience, but when I started dating with herpes, I found out none of my partners cared.”Although she sees that it’s intriguing to potentially avoid attachment—and thus heartbreak—by telling someone right out the gate, she makes an excellent point in favor of taking your time: “Nobody tells you all of the things about themselves that you usually don’t find out for a bit, like they have really bad credit or they’re a horrible cook, until you get to know each other.” Of course, it’s different with a health condition you can pass to someone else, but it’s worth noting.Although herpes is one of the most prevalent sexually transmitted diseases, it’s shrouded in stigma.The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals.D., an ob/gyn who practices at Southside OBGYN and Franciscan Alliance in Indianapolis, Indiana, tells SELF.
Although telling someone you’re interested in can be intimidating, there are different ways to do it, and you might find one easier than the others.
But use your best judgment as to how physically intimate you want to get before telling.
One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation. The person you're seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out you have genital herpes.
Now that you know you have genital herpes, you're out of the dating game, right? There's no reason to stop looking for love and fun.
Genital herpes doesn't detract from your many desirable qualities, which have drawn people to you in the past and will continue to make you a great catch. The first date after a genital herpes diagnosis may seem a little strange, however.
“I really wonder if it would have changed things to wait until we had connected more.”On the flip side, she’s also dated “quite a few guys who didn’t care at all” even though she told them ASAP.