My love dating
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Then there’s this period where you just feel numb and find yourself staring at inanimate objects, having really cliché, intro-to-philosophy-type thoughts like, “What is happiness, anyway?
I ended up in a long conversation with an older, seemingly early-50s cardiologist.
Three months deep into my break-up, I have experienced almost all of them.
First there’s shell shock, followed by denial, and then some combination of paralysis, anger, and loneliness.
It was everything from, “Babe, how about that threesome? ” to the complete non sequitur “I was on TV this week.” Finally, he asked if the reason I wasn’t responding was because I was too dumb to understand simple English.
Something I’ve learned over the years is that a lot of men have trouble dealing with rejection.
—blasting from his phone, I tried my best to conceal the actual shivers of terror running down my spine.
Next, naturally, he asked me if I was into threesomes.
It was when he attempted to grind with me to a Lana Del Rey techno remix that I finally made my escape.
But it wasn’t a true escape, because in the following days and then weeks, Tinder guy’s texts were incessant, despite my complete lack of response.
But an hour later, walking into the specified bar in the West Village, I immediately understood why people take the time to screen each other via text.
Tinder guy turned out to be two of my worst fears combined: a short actor.
The reality is, it’s hard to find someone who you can imagine having sex with more than twice, who doesn’t make you want to kill yourself as soon as they start talking.